Vampires.

I've been watching a lot of Supernatural lately. The last episode I watched was about vampires. This is what I got out of it. -Ash

Optimistic Girlfriend

This happened. For real.

-Ash

Changes

Once in a while, as I descend my spiral staircase, yawning to greet the new day, I say a quick "Hi" to the random person standing by the heater, trying to stay warm in our drafty, former barn of a house. "That's funny," I think, "usually Moss is standing by the heater, warming his buttocks."

Who is this guy and why is he blocking all the heat? He didn't pay for it!

Only then do I recognize the familiar plaid pajama pants, hairy stomach, and buzzed haircut. It doesn't help that he's not wearing his glasses, though that will give me the advantage if it comes down to fisticuffs. Without them his visual acuity is limited to colorful objects and designs known to the common man as "Art."

What drives a man to dispose of his signature facial hair?

I do not know. I do not know...

-Ash

Double Love

iPhones tend to do this thing where, if you fail to respond to your phone the first time you get a message, it reminds you again. This seems like a good idea except that it often seems like you've just received two times the actual amount of messages. I find that annoying.

...with, of course, a few exceptions...

-Ash

America: The Movie

So I'm not a huge fan of football, but I was asked (forced) to watch some of it as a result of the Super Bowl. I wasn't going to complain. Hanging out with people is fun. Plus, it's funny to watch a bunch of grown men care so much about getting a ball from one end of a field to the other. It's almost like watching a bunch of grown men get really excited about playing video games, but that's only cool if the game involves shooting other people or getting a ball from one end of a field to the other.

Throughout the streaming video there were, of course, commercials. These are, as everybody knows, the best part of the Super Bowl, but when you've chosen to stream said event the same two commercials just repeat endlessly. This is where I learned of Act of Valor.

Act of Valor is a new action movie based around actual events and portrayed by Active Duty Navy Seals. I suppose it sounds pretty cool in a general sense and I admit that the action portion of the film, which seems to be the only portion of the film, looks like it will be exciting. However, I couldn't help but feel that this is just a big push for unnecessary American patriotism. I don't see what I can expect to get from this movie that I haven't already received from Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers, Ironman, etc.

OK, OK. It isn't a made up story about World War II or a series based on actual stories from WWII or a movie based on a real comic book. It is a movie portrayed by the people who are actually doing what the movie is about. That is pretty cool. But am I the only one who sees a problem with a movie being made using people who are not actors?

I suppose this wouldn't be the first time this has been done. There are plenty of documentaries. Avant garde art films. The Matrix trilogy.

-Ash

Where is that fucking email?!

I despise writing comics that need an explanation, but I think we've done pretty well so far when it comes to writing comics that need no real explanation. I don't know if you're aware, but when you buy things through iTunes it will only allow you to download your content to five (5) verified computers. For most people this isn't an issue, but for me it is quite the issue. I have reinstalled my operating system several times for reasons that are NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! And every time that the OS is reinstalled I have to verify a new computer.

Allow me to at this point to explain iTunes' setup in a little more detail. Once upon a time you could only download your content five times. After that you had to purchase the item again if you wanted to download it more. This verification thing is a more recent development. Not that I'm complaining. It's a much better setup. But I felt this needed further explanation so that you know that I was not able to de-verify -un-verify?- my old computers as I am apparently able to do now.

So I had verified my last computer when I reinstalled my OS the time before this most recent time, which means that all my old content cannot be downloaded. Upon realizing that I could un-verify my computers I decided to see if I could do that with a computer I no-longer had so that I could get my music and stuff. I went to the ol' Apple website to see if I could do it through there. I searched and searched, but could find no way to take my old computers off the verification list.

At one point, however, Apple wanted me to verify my account information. This is where the comic actually begins. The screen said that they would send me an e-mail to verify my account, but the email never came. The page even offered a button I could press in case I did not receive the verification email. You can imagine the result. So there is my over the top explanation for my sub-par comic. Enjoy, dammit!

Moss hates Papyrus

It is my understanding that anyone that chooses to take a graphic design course will learn that the font type known as "Papyrus" is the very spawn of Satan himself. It is also my understanding that this is not because Papyrus is an inherently bad font, but rather that people who choose to use Papyrus (being people that, apparently, don't know shit about graphic design) use it incorrectly. Supposedly it is okay to use Papyrus if your business has an Egyptian theme.

Naturally, Moss has still bitched about Papyrus even when the business, movie, or other noun in need of a font has, in fact, been Egyptian themed.

Okay, maybe it was some other Middle Eastern or Mediterranean themed thing, but the area is generally the same so... does it really matter?

I find that we tend to get overly picky about small things. I do it all the time with music, but I feel that when I am actually creating music I know what it is I want to hear and I want it to sound good. So, yeah, I'm going to be picky about it. When I listen to other music I will make note when harmonies are off or people can't sing, but I know that I have my opinion and I just like being able to give examples of why I hate something.

In contrast, I think I get so annoyed about the Papyrus argument because it seems like before these graphic design classes no one even takes note of Papyrus. But, after they learn from a teacher that it is a horrible thing that should be thrown back into the fire from whence it came, all of a sudden it becomes the thing that makes the graphic design artist cringe.

Sure, it's not really any different, but I guess it's how people come at it that bothers me so much.

In other news, you might not be able to tell, but I double spaced between sentences for this comic. That's another graphic design faux pas that I hope will make Moss lose it when he reads this.

At least there's a solid reason behind the need to single space while using a computer. It's pretty hard to argue against that one.

The more you know.

-Ash

A Hairy Situation

My hair doesn't actually grow quite this fast, but it does grow fast. My hairdresser...barber...whatever you call them these days, is always surprised at how ridiculously fast my hair grows. I think it's because I'm super manly.

Moss doesn't have it quite so well.

-Ash

Another Day Another Year.

I have now been living in the small town of Alfred, NY for more than six years. I spent five years in college and have now been a part of the real world for a whole year. Yay for me. Alfred is located in what is generally considered the western portion of the state, far beyond the reaches of civilization, though not quite as far as Buffalo, where a world akin to that of Road Warrior thrives in the post-industrial rust belt.

I never really understood how someone could spend their life out here. It is a gorgeous place, but, after a while, you start to get a feeling of isolation. It's not so bad when you're a college student. You have friends and girlfriends and boyfriends; anything you want or are willing to work for regardless of gender or sexual preference. But when you live here and work here as a college graduate your options become limited. Do you spend time with your coworkers even if they have nothing in common with you? Who do you date if you're not in a relationship? What the hell do you do in your free time?

The answers are "no", "no one", and "Beats me. Maybe I'll go play videogames."

And so I start my seventh year here in the wondrous town of Alfred, NY where the "favoring sun ever shines" as the university's alma mater is so keen to remind us. The cycle starts anew with freshmen and freshwomen all of whom are fresh from high school and their summers. And a brand new year's worth of work awaits me. Oh joy. I hope it's a good year.

Hmm...looks like rain...again.

-Ash

I'm sorry...What did you say?

I don't really want to turn this into a video game comic, but I couldn't pass up this idea.

This is taken from an actual conversation that I had with my good friend Matt. He and his brother are the masterminds behind www.seitbeit.com. If you've looked at this blog at all, you know we tend to promote their work.

I can't believe that it's already been two weeks. I drew this two weeks ago. And I still do not yet have a comic idea for next week. I sure hope I can have something for you. I'd hate to have us go back into our several-month slump that we usually hit after posting a comic or two.

We'll see...

-Ash

Copy. Paste. Copy. Paste. Copy. Paste.

Kari.

This comic is about Kari. It will explain the rest.

-Ash

Stories From Life

This idea came to us one day while we were driving home from one of our various adventures to the local grocer. I don't remember the song we were listening to at the time, but it was somewhere in that vein of songs that everybody knows, hence the use of "Kryptonite".

Moss has this tendency to sing along with songs even if he does not know them. The surprising thing is how, even with all of his musical knowledge, he can be very off with songs that he actually knows. And I don't just mean lyrically.

So I, in all of my arrogant might, decided I had to ask how this could be. I have to say, even if Moss's musical abilities aren't always active, his sense of humor is. The resultant conversation is an embellished version of the conversation we had. That is normally how we come up with such things.

As you can probably tell I drew this comic. I am sure that Moss will not be pleased about this, but I figure if nobody's going to draw it I had better. Plus, it'll give Moss some incentive to start drawing more!

Consider this your warning,

-Ash

A Long Time Coming.

I know we don't post much these days. Yew and Me sort of died as suddenly as it began. But, occasionally, we still manage to reach into the depths of our souls and pull together a comic or, in this case, two. The most recent is the first comic I drew.

You'll note the keen attention to detail in the final frame.

This comic was in direct response to the previous comic that is also posted here. This comic was drawn by Moss.

You'll note the keen attention to art throughout the entire strip.

If you are still reading this blog I want you to know I truly appreciate your dedication. It must have been mind-numbing to reread all, what, six, or was it seven of our comics? You truly are a connoisseur or fine, web-based, "art".

You are appreciated,

-Ash

I guess this means...

We're back? I have to say, Moss, that your new comic has tickled me in ways that only you can truly understand. I especially like how, based on how I'm dressed in the comic, I clearly just got out of work. Perfect timing to smash your face with my music.

To the listeners: I don't know how often we'll be able to push out comics, but you have to look at this like a birth cycle. First the comic must be conceived. This is a delicate process that requires many intimate moments. Then we must allow the comic to gestate slowly over the course of several months (actual time may vary due to the possibility of preemies). And then finally we must give birth to the comic, which is entirely in Moss's hands. Yes, I am the man in this relationship and Moss gets ever closer to truly understanding what it means to be a woman. And, just like with real children, once the comic is born it goes out into the world on its own and learns to fend for itself.

Also, we're not gay.

Keep checking back for new comics. Who knows when they'll pop out next?

-Ash

Dust that shit off

I swear...

We will put up new comics some day. We have so many good ideas, but we just haven't the time to draw them and edit them and put them on the site. If you're still reading this comic I am sorry.

Another Show Poster

Aren't I productive!

Upcoming Show

It's Been a While

I don't have a comic for you all this evening, but I do have a taste of what could be the future of yew and me.



Maybe if I'm bored I'll do Ash next.

_Moss out

Hiatus

We here at the old Yew and Me are going to be taking a bit of a break from making comics, as both of us are way too busy to comprehend, but do not fret! we will return, bigger and better than ever! It's also entirely possible we will toss in a comic or two if we have the time, but come summer, we will be back on our once a week schedule.

Over and out.

-The Management